ok but this hoe y/n is living her best life in all these fics. can I be her
i have great news for you
ok but this hoe y/n is living her best life in all these fics. can I be her
i have great news for you
KidSaiki: Oh come do you really think I'm stupid enough to get in a van with a bunch of strangers?
Kidnapper: We have coffee jelly
KidSaiki:....
KidSaiki: Nevermind I am absolutley stupid enough to get in a car with a bunch of strangers
Kurumi, after Saiki returns with no coffee jelly and a dead body: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING GETTING A VAN WITH STRANGERS KUU-CHAN
Saiki: I could’ve killed him at any time, I wasn’t in any real danger
Kuniharu, staring at the dead body: ...........
Kurumi: SAY SOMETHING TO YOUR SON ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOR
Kuniharu: ......... I- I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m gonna go lay down for a second *faints*
Trumpet Manucode. One of the birds of paradise, but one that tends to be forgotten due to its “plain” coloration and lack of wildly-specialized feathers. Still, I think they’re beautiful, don’t you?
Based on a photo by Laurie Ross. Just getting some iridescence practice in today.
boyfriends
literally every day i say to myself “wow i’m having a really bad one today” like girl i think this is just your life.
one thing about me is that im literally just in my room
So my boss once robbed a museum to prove a point and honestly, I think she is my new role model.
If this gets notes I’ll tell the full story
Storu
Many years ago, my boss was working at this museum and they had these original Churchill documents on display. These documents are worth millions of dollars… The only thing separating the public from these documents was a sheet of glass secured with 4 philips head screws. Seriously. No security guards in the room, no cameras, just an easily removable piece of glass.
My boss pointed out the security concern, but she wasn’t taken seriously, so she took matters into her own hands.
She bought a ticket and pretended to be a guest. She entered through the main entrance with a huge drill clearly visible on her belt, went straight to the documents and opened the case with the drill. (While wearing gloves,) she removed the documents, put them in a folder, reattached the glass, and walked out the main exit. Literally no one even questioned her.
She immediately went around to the back of the museum, entered using the staff entrance and went straight to her boss’s office. She dropped the folder on his desk and said “I just stole these in 15 minutes“
Once he was done being mad at her, he listened and the museum increased security.
i have a lesbian friend called Maggie who claims to be stupid but has given me some of the most powerful advice ive ever received, information that only a lesbian could deliver
she used to work for a gay club where her job would be to carry around a tray of shots (she’s like pretty short and had one (1) extremely buff arm because of this bc she had to hold the tray real high above her head when going thru crowds) and she found that obviously she’d get tipped better if she dressed sexy, so she’d come to work in just lingerie and bunny ears, and i was like “damn i could never” and i asked her how she had the body confidence to do it
her answer was “oh i don’t i’m just dumb” and honestly? that’s the best piece of advice i’ve ever been given, period.
she told me that a good sport/hobby for depressed lesbians to take up is martial arts, because not only does it give you a reason to get out the house and socialise more, but because it gives you a good way to get more control over your body in more ways than one
not only does it prepare you for a potential time in later your life where you might need to defend yourself against non-consensual touching (be it sexual or otherwise) but it gives you a way to platonically, professionally and most importantly consensually be touched and touched other people in a semi-public, friendly environment, and she told me it’s really important that lesbians do that because we can get so caught up in our heads about being touched & not being touched. it also works as an environment where you can always say “stop” and you know they will - because that’s the point
Maggie is wise beyond her years
i was once discussing the big spoon/little spoon with a friend and she interupted us and gave the most definitive answer i’ve ever heard; the wisest addition to Big Spoon/Little Spoon discourse anybody could have, something i still think about every day.
she said “middle spoon” and for the first time in my life it DAWNED ON ME you could do BOTH at ONCE
anyway hats off to Maggie she’s one of my favourite people in the world
Maggie sounds great
the bears will be in eventually
He nyooms
AHHHHHHH